The User's Guide to ANAKIN SKYWALKER
by Red Pen Ninja
Summary: Congratulations on your purchase of an ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit. Star Wars Store Inc. is not responsible for any injuries, emotional trauma, or death that may occur while using our products. No refunds or return. May the Force buy with you!


Star Wars Store Inc.

ANAKIN SKYWALKER/ DARTH VADER Unit

User's Manual

Congratualtions on your purchase of a(n) ANAKIN SKYWALKER Unit.

Name: Anakin Skywalker/ Darth Vader

Height: 1.85 meters

Type: Human Male

Your ANAKIN SKYWALKER Unit should include:

1 (one) blue lightsaber

1 (one) set of black Jedi robes

1 (one) yellow, slightly damaged, Jedi Starfighter

PADME AMIDALA, CHANCELLOR PALPANTINE, and CLONE LEGION Units sold seperately.

Main Functions

Your new ANAKIN SKYWALKER Unit is designed to be fun, romantic, and strong. It may have a tendency to be reckless, angry, or proud.

_Jedi Knight_

Your ANAKIN SKYWALKER Unit is a skilled Jedi Knight. However, it will be on the Council, but will not be given the rank of Master. Depending on the influence of a PADME AMIDALA unit, your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit will probably go to the Dark Side. (see the DARTH VADER users manual for more information)

Note: Your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit is a killer of Sith, Seperatist droids, and Tusken Raiders. Please contact Star Wars Store Inc. if you happen to be any of these things.

_General_

Though your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit is a Jedi Knight, he proves useful on the battlefield against SEPERATIST DROID units and COUNT DOOKU units.

Note: Eventually, your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit will be battling other Jedi units, including OBI-WAN KENOBI, JEDI YOUNGLING, and LUKE SKYWALKER units.

_Husband_

Your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit is secretly married to PADME AMIDALA unit. Though he is deeply in love, he will eventually kill a PADME unit.

_Father_

Your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit will believe that he has killed his children (see LUKE SKYWALKER and LEIA ORGANA) until he duels LUKE SKYWALKER on Bespin.

Care and Cleaning

Your ANAKIN SKYWALKER may need to vent to a CHANCELLOR PALPANTINE unit about the Jedi Council. Allow this once or twice a week, but monitor the talks and make sure they don't turn to the Dark Side.

Be sure to order new Jedi robes at least once a year for your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit. Keep your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit away from water, Force lightning, and Jedi while he is in DARTH VADER form.

FAQ

Q: Why is my ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit missing his lightsaber?

A: Has your unit been in a droid factory or battled a COUNT DOOKU unit? If so, don't worry. Eventually an OBI-WAN KENOBI will have him make a new lightsaber.

Q: Why does my ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit hate me?

A: Are you a member of the Jedi Council, a Sith, a Seperatist, or a politician? If so, please return your unit before it kills you.

Q: Why is my ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit on fire/ having trouble breathing?

A: Has your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit recently joined the Dark Side and battled an OBI-WAN KENOBI unit? If so, your unit is now a DARTH VADER unit. Please order an official DARTH VADER unit life suit and stop calling him Anakin. That will get you killed.

Troubleshooting

Problem: My ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit went on a killing spree in the Jedi Temple.

Solution: Has your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit recently been influenced by a DARTH SIDIOUS unit? If so, he is now a type-unit-SITH.

Problem: My ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit killed me!

Solution: Are you a(n) Jedi, OBI-WAN KENOBI unit, EMPEROR PALPANTINE/DARTH SIDIOUS unit, TUSKEN RAIDER unit, SEPERATIST DROID unit, or REBEL unit?

Problem: My ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit is missing his arm!

Solution: Has your ANAKIN SKYWALKER recently battled a COUNT DOOKU unit or a LUKE SKYWALKER, JEDI MASTER unit? If so, please send your unit to the Hall of Healing or an Imperial Medical Center.

Problem: My ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit is dead!

Solution: Has your ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit recently been exposed to Force lightning and/ or a LUKE SKYWALKER, JEDI MASTER unit? If so, we are sorry for your loss but he has been forgiven for all of his wrongdoings as a DARTH VADER unit.

Star Wars Store Inc. is not responsible for any injuries, emotional trauma, or death that may occur while using our products. No refunds or returns. May the Force buy with you!


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